Have you ever seen the movie The Turning Point with Shirley MacLaine and Anne Bancroft? You know it's the one about two former promising ballerinas that chose different paths in life. One gets married and gives up her career in dance and the other dedicates her life to the dance and becomes a star. I haven't watched it for a long time, but as I recall the two main characters meet up again later in life and both regret the road not taken. Lots of drama, name calling, and bitch slapping ensue. Well I kinda felt a bit like the Shirley MacLaine character (she's the one that gave up her career for a man) when I had to forgo my chance to star in Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 this fall because I was with pups. Are you listening Toby?
You see I came across this casting notice:
Rich King Casting is looking for purebred, talented pups for “Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2.” They’re seeking dogs with the looks and the talent to make it in Hollywood. “Here is your chance to show off (to the world) your best friend. The scene is the Beverly Hills dog show and your purebred could be part of the movie. No talent too big or too small! If interested, please email your name, contact info, a video of your dog and its talent, a picture of you and your dog, breed, and any miscellaneous information to email@example.com. Casting will start the week of September 21, 2009, so send in your submission as soon as possible.” More information can be found on their website.
Well, of course, I'm purebred and I have tons of star potential. I would have been a shoo-in. Life and all it's regrets. Well, perhaps they'll make Babe 3. I can play a pig no problem. I AM an actress.
Do you know the origin of that term "shoo-in?" I actually thought it was shoe-in, but it's not. It's shoo-in. Well, as I understand it, it has it's origins in horse racing, where a shoo-in was the winner of a rigged race. It comes from the verb shoo, meaning to drive a person or an animal in a given direction by making noises or gestures, which in turn comes from the noise people often make when they do it. Do you think I could play a horse? National Velvet 3? Or better yet a remake of Black Beauty. I was born for that role.
Did I ever tell you about the time I ran into Shirley MacLaine in Palm Springs? You see my parents and I were having breakfast on the terrace at The Parker Hotel. That's the hotel that was formerly known as The Givenchy, owned by one of my favorite talk show hosts Merv Griffen. It's much cooler now that it's The Parker. It was redesigned by Jonathan Adler, you know the guy that started out making really cool pottery and now has a whole line of stuff for your very hip home. The Parker is very dog friendly. The hotel was even featured in a reality show of the same name. On one of the episodes, hotel management was thinking about banning dogs from the property which made Mr. Adler extremely upset as he is a devoted pet owner and pooch enthusiast. I have no idea how that all turned out. I have a very busy life. But let's get back to Ms. MacLaine. Shirley, as I now call her, was also taking her breakfast on the terrace at The Parker. She was probably actually staying there. We had much finer digs. We were staying in the guest house on Donna Reed's former estate in the Las Palmas neighborhood. Fabu! Well, anyway, as we were leaving, my parents approached Ms. MacLaine and said hello. She was very nice and launched into some whack story about Snoop Dog. But you know what, she didn't even notice me and she is supposed to be this BIG DOG FREAK. I think she even wrote a book about it. I think the title is Out on a Leash. She even has this whole page on herbs for dogs on her website. And another page just filled with pet stories where she claims, "We all love those dear fur people we call pets." Puke!
Maybe she'll come back in her next incarnation as a dog. You know she believes in all that. See how she likes staring at everyone's ankles all the time. No, better yet, a pig. Now, she, she could definitely play a pig. I like this picture of her. This is exactly how she looked that morning at The Parker when I didn't meet her. In fact, I think she was wearing this very same wig. And that's how I came to be on first name basis with Shirley. Are you impressed Toby?